Called Out

October 16, 2009 — Leave a comment

I planned to post on failure in this week’s post, but something else came up that requires my attention….

The ASK:

This week a friend approached me to be his accountability partner for an area he has been struggling in. This was his third attempt to ask me for help. The first two times were not overt. I got the message, but just felt I didn’t have the time..blah, blah, blah…

The point then hit me: I was in conflict with my Life Manifesto, in which I commit to “foster sound relationships with those that I can help lift up”

Called OUT:

God pointed out my hypocrisy and put it right in my face. How many times was my friend going to have task? Finally (thankfully), he came out and asked me directly. What am I going to say to his face? That was when I was humiliated for not being open to help the first time he asked.


(let me preface this statement on irony: there’s no such thing – irony is God’s unknown plan unfolding in our lives)

The irony of the situation is that the issue he has asked me to help hold him accountable is an area that I have struggled with for many years. God (along with my life partner!) has provided me the guidance and wisdom to be able to not fall. Now here I stand being asked to hold a friend accountable to his actions for the same type of thing I struggle with. By avoiding the commitment, I could continue to hide my struggles and weakness from the outside world.


I don’t have the TIME

I have other PRIORITIES

There are others better suited for THIS

I don’t have EXPERIENCE in helping men – only teens

What can I do?

Bottom-line, all of these, while these seemingly valid, are excuses to not help. In fact they are all based on the same thing…


I was afraid that by getting involved I would be found out. Period. Because of my fear (admitting my shortcoming to someone other than my wife), I tried to justify my lack of willingness to help. What if _______. That statement: “WHAT IF” is always based on fear. It may not always be wrong to ask it, but in this case it was. The underlying fear was leading me to make unjustified excuses as to why I couldn’t commit (again in contradiction to my Manifesto).


I agreed to and embraced the ask. It took a few times, but I finally got it. Through this I realized that my fellow brothers occasionally need help to, and that at times we are focused on helping those outside the church and assume that the ones in the doors are good. Bad assumption on my part. I will be more open and listen more closely to those asking for help. I am thankful that I have been called out on this and am able to learn from it.


How about you? Who needs your help? Who’s asking for you to help? Are you avoiding getting involved? If so, why? Face your fear, stop making excuses and jump in. This is your calling and purpose. Just do it.

I would love to hear your story about helping others and how you deal with fear. Leave me a comment, send me a tweet ( or send me an e-mail:

Cheers – Steve


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