I was trailing a ‘rabbit’ who was 1/2 mile ahead and going a bit faster than me. The CHP came around the corner and nailed ME on radar. The angle worked out just right for my rabbit, but not so well for me! When the officer approached the car, my first reply was, “But the other guy…” at which I was cutoff with, “gotcha on radar-72 in a 55″.

Sheri got a great laugh out of it, “you sounded like a little baby!”

After we calmed down from laughing at my baby-ness, I got to thinking about my response. I noticed I did not deny speeding, but I tried to deflect my error on someone else – Rather than admitting it, learning my lesson, and moving forward.

I lead a small company. As I have taken over the operations, I have made some tough choices and have held some people accountable. I noticed one of two common reactions:
1. Leaders accept the feedback, learn from it, and move forward.
2. Problem employees almost always react with a “But the other guy…” reaction. They try to justify why they are not wrong by comparing themselves to some weaker, less skilled, etc. fellow worker rather than admit they need to change, they rationalize, justify, deny there’s a problem and it’s the leader who provided the feedback is the problem. These people take too much time and energy.

When someone gives you feedback, criticism, or busts you for speeding, do you respond as a leader or a problem?

I know what I need God to do, just ask me! That’s where I found myself in early December. Why hadn’t our house in FL been closed? Why can’t our son move to CA now? Why is it so hard for our daughter to make new friends? Why are we struggling to find the right church? Blah, blah, blah.

As I started praying to help me to understand my selfish sin, God reminded me of all things he had done for me this year: healed my broken back and concussion, allowed us to take vacation and enjoy his canvas we call earth, provided a new job and paid for our relocation, provided a new house in a great area just minutes from my work, given us financial support in ways we could have never imagined. The list went on and on. It far outweighed the stuff I thought at the moment as the most important.

So here I stand, blessed and realizing that God has a plan for everything. I have to constantly fight my pride which leads me down the self pity road that becomes my own worst enemy. Remembering what God has done in my past, helps carry me through the tough times and keeps me humble.

What blessing do you need to acknowledge?

Since that time, I have witnessed God work in radical ways, seen my family come together, seen my family struggle with change, seen our company grow, seen men fight addiction, witnessed men step-up and lead, vacationed with friends for the first time, accepted a new job, moved across the country, sold a house, bought and sold cars, and most importantly allowed God to lead the way in my life.

As I reflect on this past year and remember (what I can) lying in bed last Christmas with a broken back/ribs/elbow and major concussion and realize what God has done since that time, I’m in shock. Why we he continues to care about me, is a mystery I will never solve. I’m no one, yet he still has a plan and obviously I have more to do. I have not wasted any time this year and am making the most out of things. I have not gotten it right every time, but I haven’t wasted anything.

As I start my annual review of My Life Manifesto, I realize I have a lot to do in 2012. God has called me to be more than I am and I have to get back in the game in some aspects of my life (more later on this). Right now, I’m focused on today and am in awe of how awesome God is.

It’s been a year…

My administrative assistant told me I was mean in a light handed joking way. This hit me. There must be a something to this mean thing… So I started asking my staff if I have been mean lately. They all answered yes in some way or another.

“The problem’s everyone else” Right?

When the rest of the world tells you there’s a problem, guess what? There’s a problem.

I hate being told I’m wrong or even worse, I’m mean! I’m NOT mean, I’m direct… and there is the problem. I’ve been SO busy that I have been neglecting my relationships and therefore failing in My Life Manifesto and most importantly how am I representing my Savor?

I’m blessed to have people around me that care enough to say something. Without these honest and loving voices in my life, I would not be able to be the leader I hope to be.

Who in your life is telling you something? Are you listening?

I find it fascinating when people think they can perform at a C level and think they deserve more $. The thinking is simple, “I’m demotivated because I’m underpaid.” The faultiness of this argument is simple. You’re asking me to give you a pay raise based on average performance? Really?! So of course he didn’t get the “deserved” pay raise.

What was more concerning is the dislike for his supervisor was so strong that he allowed it to become a cancer to his attitude. This is career suicide. Why followers allow people over to have this much influence over their lives? We all have a choice and decide how we react to others. We cannot control what others do or say, but we can control how we react.

The real career killer mistake this employee made was he was so focused on his dislike, he pursued and accepted a job that had significantly reduced responsibility for a little more money. During my review of resumes, I always look for instances of people moving backward in their career. While it may not be a showstopper, it makes it easier to use that as the reason to screen them out. There’s always a reason for these things – sometimes valid – and why bother when there’s 50 other candidates without such a blemish?

Before cutting bait on your current job for another position that is a step backward, make sure you think through how someone will view it later on down the road.

What steps do you need to take to ensure you’re well positioned for your next job?

Being a consultant means you have a paying customer. They have demands, you’re expected to meet those demands – “That’s what we’re paying you for”. They have moving targets on timelines, want to change the scope, tell you what to do and how to do it, etc. after all, they’re paying for it! Not to mention the additional “work” required on top of your normal day job, which spills over to your personal life.

In the end, it all comes back to why most managers hire consultants: to be the bad guys and make recommendations that the manager does not have the guts to make. The idea is to bring in an “expert”, control the messaging, and get what the manager wanted all along.

If your considering doing some work on the side, be prepared. In my experience as a manager and leader, managers hire consultants to move their political agenda forward. Leaders hire consultants to fill a blind spot. Choose your clients carefully. Your reputation is at stake and consulting for managers only waters down your permission. Finally, make sure your family is on board with the decision. There’s a price to be paid for the extra income: less of your time. If they aren’t on board, do not make the engagement.

I’m lucky. My client is a leader and my family supports my efforts. I got lucky, but moving forward, I’m making sure I work with leaders and not managers.

Will you have the guts to turn a paying client down if they don’t pass the leadership sniff test or your family is not supportive?

Leaders save companies. This is not the sexy side of leadership. It’s the underbelly that few actually get to live through. When things are going down in flames, it’s those who stand and flight that make the difference. Those who make the hard decisions. Sometimes we can’t save them all, but we have to save as many as possible.

My life has taken a turn, and I find myself at this crossroad. Having to be truthful and honest with a few to save the many.

Anyone who thinks leadership is easy obviously isn’t a leader. With that big check comes responsibility. The responsibility to feed families, make decisions, and do what is best based on few facts and experience from past situations. There’s no short cut to becoming a leader. You have to get dirty, make tough calls and live with the repercussions of those decisions.

Before you decide you want it, you better take a look under the hood and make sure you really want it. There’s a price to be paid to gain the reward.

In the end, you have to know yourself and why you want it. If you want to get into leadership, then make sure your motives are based on helping others. If it’s $ that’s driving you, it’s not leadership you seek. It’s pride you look to feed.

Why do you want it?

We can’t control other people – even our kids will do what they want.

We have no control over the external events in our lives – tornado’s, earthquakes, etc.

We have no control over other’s views and beliefs (see above)

So what do we control? We control what we believe, how we react, and what we think. From this comes everything. Accept that you cannot control anything else, and you’ll find life seems more controlled.

What do you need to stop trying to control?

When you ask for recommendations, please understand I give them rarely and purposefully. I hope you do the same. The challenge is saying no or never giving recommendations. Where’s saying no or ignoring a request leave you and the other person? You on your pedestal and them walking away – never to look back. Permission is delicate. Don’t abuse it nor ignore it. Nurture it and grow it. One recommendation at a time. Take a risk sometimes. You never know what impact you’ll have.

Make those recommendations freely, honestly and most importantly accurately. People are relying on your integrity in your recommendation to base their decision. Never underestimate the power in that…

All marketers are liars. Be warned when someone is claiming to be #1 in some ranking system. While it may be legitimate, it’s likely a marketing ploy to make a company look better than they are. Why do you think there are so many ranking systems for MBA programs? Each system has a selection criterion which is not made public, thus giving more schools the opportunity to be #1. Otherwise wouldn’t the same school be #1 across the board?

This rule applies to church ranking systems, schools, universities, governments, cars… you get the point.

What do you do? Do your own research. Before you make a $100K investment in that MBA is it really worth it? Why? Do not get fooled by marketers. I have heard some of the scams universities pull to make it appear that they have really bright students in all their classes. Upon further examination, it’s a well thought out marketing ploy designed to give the appearance that the school is top notice.

What ranking system do you rely on? Is it honest?