2 High School Students and A Wedding…

Sheri and I lead high school small groups for several years and really enjoyed our time. Serving young people is a challenge, their emotions are always at full speed, they fight, cry, laugh, sing, all in the span on minutes. I guess growing up is tough.

One of the most rewarding things we found in serving is witnessing these young people grow up. Over the past couple of years we’ve seen a lot of weddings and young people who grew up in the church together naturally come together. I think this is how God intended it. He wants our families to be families that bring him glory.

Today two of our old students are getting married. This young couple started dating while in high school in our small group. This is one of our proudest moments for them. I recall the drama, tears, hurt and joy, laughter and fun times we all had together, and now the seeds God planted back then are yielding fruit. We never know what God is doing in the moment, but over time we get the privilege to witness his plan unfold.

My challenge to you: consider serving in your local church high school ministry. Yes, teenagers a scary, you never know what they’ll say or do, but it’s one of the most rewarding things you could ever do. Young people need Godly role models to look up to. If no adults serve, they look to each other to fill that need.

Is God calling you to serve? Talk to your student pastor. I promise you will never regret it.

But the other guy…

Funny thing happened last weekend. I got a speeding ticket. I was 19 when I got my last speeding ticket.

I was trailing a ‘rabbit’ who was 1/2 mile ahead and going a bit faster than me. The CHP came around the corner and nailed ME on radar. The angle worked out just right for my rabbit, but not so well for me! When the officer approached the car, my first reply was, “But the other guy…” at which I was cutoff with, “gotcha on radar-72 in a 55″.

Sheri got a great laugh out of it, “you sounded like a little baby!”

After we calmed down from laughing at my baby-ness, I got to thinking about my response. I noticed I did not deny speeding, but I tried to deflect my error on someone else – Rather than admitting it, learning my lesson, and moving forward.

I lead a small company. As I have taken over the operations, I have made some tough choices and have held some people accountable. I noticed one of two common reactions:
1. Leaders accept the feedback, learn from it, and move forward.
2. Problem employees almost always react with a “But the other guy…” reaction. They try to justify why they are not wrong by comparing themselves to some weaker, less skilled, etc. fellow worker rather than admit they need to change, they rationalize, justify, deny there’s a problem and it’s the leader who provided the feedback is the problem. These people take too much time and energy.

When someone gives you feedback, criticism, or busts you for speeding, do you respond as a leader or a problem?

My Own Worst Enemy…

As I went through my year end review of 2011, I realized just how much abundance God has given me and how I had fell into the trap of not acknowledging his blessings and instead was focusing on all the things he didn’t take care of.

I know what I need God to do, just ask me! That’s where I found myself in early December. Why hadn’t our house in FL been closed? Why can’t our son move to CA now? Why is it so hard for our daughter to make new friends? Why are we struggling to find the right church? Blah, blah, blah.

As I started praying to help me to understand my selfish sin, God reminded me of all things he had done for me this year: healed my broken back and concussion, allowed us to take vacation and enjoy his canvas we call earth, provided a new job and paid for our relocation, provided a new house in a great area just minutes from my work, given us financial support in ways we could have never imagined. The list went on and on. It far outweighed the stuff I thought at the moment as the most important.

So here I stand, blessed and realizing that God has a plan for everything. I have to constantly fight my pride which leads me down the self pity road that becomes my own worst enemy. Remembering what God has done in my past, helps carry me through the tough times and keeps me humble.

What blessing do you need to acknowledge?

1 Year…

A year ago I came close to dying. I learned much about friendship, service, letting others serve me, life and how much I mean to my family and they to me.

Since that time, I have witnessed God work in radical ways, seen my family come together, seen my family struggle with change, seen our company grow, seen men fight addiction, witnessed men step-up and lead, vacationed with friends for the first time, accepted a new job, moved across the country, sold a house, bought and sold cars, and most importantly allowed God to lead the way in my life.

As I reflect on this past year and remember (what I can) lying in bed last Christmas with a broken back/ribs/elbow and major concussion and realize what God has done since that time, I’m in shock. Why we he continues to care about me, is a mystery I will never solve. I’m no one, yet he still has a plan and obviously I have more to do. I have not wasted any time this year and am making the most out of things. I have not gotten it right every time, but I haven’t wasted anything.

As I start my annual review of My Life Manifesto, I realize I have a lot to do in 2012. God has called me to be more than I am and I have to get back in the game in some aspects of my life (more later on this). Right now, I’m focused on today and am in awe of how awesome God is.

It’s been a year…

Meanness…

About 2-weeks ago, my told me I was being “mean” and being bossy. I had noticed I had been a bit short with my communication, but didn’t give it much thought. Then…

My administrative assistant told me I was mean in a light handed joking way. This hit me. There must be a something to this mean thing… So I started asking my staff if I have been mean lately. They all answered yes in some way or another.

“The problem’s everyone else” Right?

When the rest of the world tells you there’s a problem, guess what? There’s a problem.

I hate being told I’m wrong or even worse, I’m mean! I’m NOT mean, I’m direct… and there is the problem. I’ve been SO busy that I have been neglecting my relationships and therefore failing in My Life Manifesto and most importantly how am I representing my Savor?

I’m blessed to have people around me that care enough to say something. Without these honest and loving voices in my life, I would not be able to be the leader I hope to be.

Who in your life is telling you something? Are you listening?

Career Advice… One Step Forward

This week I had one of my team members decide to move on to another company. While I supported and encouraged him to move on, I always analyze why people leave. There were two factors in this case. 1. He could not stand his supervisor – which was becoming a cancer to his work performance. 2. He felt he deserved more $.

I find it fascinating when people think they can perform at a C level and think they deserve more $. The thinking is simple, “I’m demotivated because I’m underpaid.” The faultiness of this argument is simple. You’re asking me to give you a pay raise based on average performance? Really?! So of course he didn’t get the “deserved” pay raise.

What was more concerning is the dislike for his supervisor was so strong that he allowed it to become a cancer to his attitude. This is career suicide. Why followers allow people over to have this much influence over their lives? We all have a choice and decide how we react to others. We cannot control what others do or say, but we can control how we react.

The real career killer mistake this employee made was he was so focused on his dislike, he pursued and accepted a job that had significantly reduced responsibility for a little more money. During my review of resumes, I always look for instances of people moving backward in their career. While it may not be a showstopper, it makes it easier to use that as the reason to screen them out. There’s always a reason for these things – sometimes valid – and why bother when there’s 50 other candidates without such a blemish?

Before cutting bait on your current job for another position that is a step backward, make sure you think through how someone will view it later on down the road.

What steps do you need to take to ensure you’re well positioned for your next job?

Consulting on the Side: The Pain…

Consulting on the side is a way to make some extra money, build your network and create credibility as an expert in your area. Over the past several months, I have had a client I have been assisting in setting up a compliance program. I find it very rewarding to help someone solve a problem through my past experiences. The problem is I’m a consultant…

Being a consultant means you have a paying customer. They have demands, you’re expected to meet those demands – “That’s what we’re paying you for”. They have moving targets on timelines, want to change the scope, tell you what to do and how to do it, etc. after all, they’re paying for it! Not to mention the additional “work” required on top of your normal day job, which spills over to your personal life.

In the end, it all comes back to why most managers hire consultants: to be the bad guys and make recommendations that the manager does not have the guts to make. The idea is to bring in an “expert”, control the messaging, and get what the manager wanted all along.

If your considering doing some work on the side, be prepared. In my experience as a manager and leader, managers hire consultants to move their political agenda forward. Leaders hire consultants to fill a blind spot. Choose your clients carefully. Your reputation is at stake and consulting for managers only waters down your permission. Finally, make sure your family is on board with the decision. There’s a price to be paid for the extra income: less of your time. If they aren’t on board, do not make the engagement.

I’m lucky. My client is a leader and my family supports my efforts. I got lucky, but moving forward, I’m making sure I work with leaders and not managers.

Will you have the guts to turn a paying client down if they don’t pass the leadership sniff test or your family is not supportive?

The Leader’s Burden

The leadership challenge only grows with responsibility. I have found that as I mature in my faith and promote in my professional life, the burdens I face seem to grow.

Leaders save companies. This is not the sexy side of leadership. It’s the underbelly that few actually get to live through. When things are going down in flames, it’s those who stand and flight that make the difference. Those who make the hard decisions. Sometimes we can’t save them all, but we have to save as many as possible.

My life has taken a turn, and I find myself at this crossroad. Having to be truthful and honest with a few to save the many.

Anyone who thinks leadership is easy obviously isn’t a leader. With that big check comes responsibility. The responsibility to feed families, make decisions, and do what is best based on few facts and experience from past situations. There’s no short cut to becoming a leader. You have to get dirty, make tough calls and live with the repercussions of those decisions.

Before you decide you want it, you better take a look under the hood and make sure you really want it. There’s a price to be paid to gain the reward.

In the end, you have to know yourself and why you want it. If you want to get into leadership, then make sure your motives are based on helping others. If it’s $ that’s driving you, it’s not leadership you seek. It’s pride you look to feed.

Why do you want it?

No Control…

We have no control.

We can’t control other people – even our kids will do what they want.

We have no control over the external events in our lives – tornado’s, earthquakes, etc.

We have no control over other’s views and beliefs (see above)

So what do we control? We control what we believe, how we react, and what we think. From this comes everything. Accept that you cannot control anything else, and you’ll find life seems more controlled.

What do you need to stop trying to control?

Recommending Others…

I don’t lightly recommend people. In fact today I recommended my first person on LinkedIn. Simple because I believe recommendations are an extension of my brand and reputation and to give them out to everyone I know vs. the few who deserve not only protects my name, but also raises the credibility of the one I recommend.

When you ask for recommendations, please understand I give them rarely and purposefully. I hope you do the same. The challenge is saying no or never giving recommendations. Where’s saying no or ignoring a request leave you and the other person? You on your pedestal and them walking away – never to look back. Permission is delicate. Don’t abuse it nor ignore it. Nurture it and grow it. One recommendation at a time. Take a risk sometimes. You never know what impact you’ll have.

Make those recommendations freely, honestly and most importantly accurately. People are relying on your integrity in your recommendation to base their decision. Never underestimate the power in that…